3 ways to Raise Independent Kids
I am a mother to a 2 year old boy and before he came into our lives we were totally immersed into a life of adventure and carefree attitude – weekend shoppings, signing up for any kind of fun classes, inviting friends and partying late at nights. Well! When I knew I was pregnant it was the most happiest day of my life while today I am constantly juggling to my son’s every wish and fancy.
Believe me, a lot of times I think to myself I didn’t sign up for this Mama! But eh! Man plans, God Disposes. Plus these tiny little human beings are totally incapable of taking care of themselves so I made my life’s mission to talk to some moms of elderly boys or whoever would like to share their secrets with me on how to raise independent kids. I made it very clear in my head that I am going to raise my child as an independent child who knows how to cater to their own needs and wants.
These are my learnings which I would like to share with you all today:
- Kids like adults need some alone time. We parents want our children to excel in every arena of life and sometimes we over-burden them with a hell lot of activities so much that they do not have time to do something new or to think of something innovative or creative. This even includes over-indulging them in heaps of toys.
Make sure you give them some space or alone time from a very early stage. Even Research says that boredom is good for kids; it brings out their creative side. Hovering all the time on top of their heads and reminding them about all the chores left is not going to help much lest only worsen their creative side.
While growing up I didn’t have many toys, I just had a tricycle handed down from my sister and a rugged doll. Resulting in more of free time for me so I started playing on my own- climbing up on trees, I remember I even got a parrot as a pet and started self-teaching every day after school (me imitating as a teacher and revising whatever was taught in the class for that day). It made a huge impact on my memory and I realized I was able to learn things at a faster pace than anyone in my friend’s circle though later on I didn’t pursue it and lost it at a much later stage.
- Every family should have a very clear understanding of parent and child responsibilities. As a parent it is your duty to teach your child about responsibilities.
Have a detailed talk with your child as on what all are their responsibilities and how they need to fulfill it. One of friends share an example of how she taught her 3 year old daughter that family is like a car and different members are different parts of it and in order the car to function properly everybody in the house needs to fulfill their task. I find this as a very good example because children are children , they have very small attention span so if you do not make an effort and make your conversation relatable and interesting you are going to lose them, they will be frustrated and distracted.
The idea behind this strategy is not only will they learn to do things on their own but also they might encounter different issues on certain days and time and again they might consult you for your guidance. Be very clear with your child that you have got their back but they need to get their hands dirty by doing the job.
Do not overstep your bounds and jump in to rescue them every now and then. Let them try to figure out ways to accomplish certain tasks and who knows what innovation they might come up with!
- Hold accountability for their actions. Teach your child that if success is something which has come from their hard work then failure also involves taking an equal share of accountability.
My father used to hand us down some pocket money and used to tell us that we are accountable for the money; we can either spend it in one day or perhaps try saving it for what the future holds. A lot of us learn about financing and money-problems from our own household. Trust your child and teach them the ways of saving and what could happen if they spend it all in one place.
I heard somewhere this quote which meant that if you want a child to be disciplined give them some responsibilities. Because all other ways are going to push them away from you.
There will come a time when your child is old enough to understand why parents used to do what they do. Some children understand their parents during adulthood while some take time until they become parents themselves. So the key is to be patient and give them their space and freedom to do things differently.
Hope you liked this article, please comment and let me know.
Merrin is a SAHM, a mother of a highly energetic boy and we live in the city of World’s Tallest Skyscraper. Every child is different but as parents, our struggles are very much similar. So let’s share our stories with each other and enjoy the joyful ride.
I hope through this we can share laughter, empowerment and more experiences with each other.